My Favorite NYC Irish Joke

An Irishman walks into a bar in New York City, and orders three shots of whiskey. The bartender sets them up, the Irishman drinks them, pays, and leaves. A few nights later, same thing: three shots of whiskey, pays, and leaves. This goes on for about a year, until one day, the bartender finally asks, “Hey- a few nights a week, you order the exact same thing. Do you mind if I ask why it’s always three shots of whiskey?” The Irishman smiles, and explains, “I immigrated here last year after I got married, but I left behind all of my family back in Ireland. So,” pointing to each shot glass, “this one represents my brother Michael, this one represents my brother John, and this one is for me.” He smiles wistfully, “it’s like we’re all together at the pub back home.” From then on, the Irishman walks into the bar, and he doesn’t even need to say anything; the bartender sets up the glasses, they chat a bit, and then he pays and leaves. This goes on for years. Until one day, the Irishman says: “just two shots today.” Obviously concerned, the bartender asks “oh god no! Are your brothers ok?! Did something happen to—“ “No no no! They’re fine! Just fine and healthy! I just gave up drinking!”