Retirement

Douglas had been working at a desk job for the past 20 years. He had finally saved up enough money to move where he always wanted to: Montana. Montana is bear country, and knowing this Douglas bought a shotgun. He bought a cute cabin out by the lake, where the salmon trail was wild. The house was so beautiful he didn’t want anybody on it. One day Douglas was on his porch, swinging on his rocking chair smoking a fancy Cuban cigar (he had deserved it) and resting his prized shotgun on his lap. Suddenly a stranger says “Help there’s been a bear attack!”, Douglas immediately grabs his shotgun, but instead of helping him he blasts the man in the face, leaving a hole in him. “This is private property” Douglas says. Later, in the paper he reads “Bear attack on 2 residents!” Douglas says “eh, bears are worse than shotguns”.