A groom-to-be is celebrating his bachelor party.

His friends were incredibly excited to see him settle with a smart woman. The groom was not the brightest, and would benefit a lot from having someone who was patient, nurturing, and intelligent. The groom also had a long history of seeking out sexually actively women to spend time with. Over the last few years his friends had noticed him do this less, and that he had actually started working to better himself by not just having sex with any random women, but finding sexually actively ones who were also “teachers” or “tutors” of some sort. Before meeting his wife, he had been regularly spending time with three women in particular: one who helped him with spelling by having him spell out the sexual activities he wanted. Another helped him with basic geography and would quiz him on state capitals before he could be with her. The third helped him with basic arithmetic. Anytime they had sex, she would count every thrust out loud, often asking him to join her in doing so. Eventually the groom met his now fiancée naturally at a bar, and was now happily leaving that era of his life behind. On the day of his bachelor party, his groomsmen laid out their gifts for him. The first groomsman presented the groom with his wrapped present. He carefully unwrapped the paper to find an engraved fountain pen. “I know that girl who taught you spelling is out of your life now, but with your newfound knowledge I thought you could use this to write your wife-to-be some nice notes or something.” The groom expressed his thanks for the thoughtful gift and opened the next bag from his second groomsman. Inside was a globe. “Since you’re a pro at geography in the USA after your ‘lessons’, I got you a globe so you can keep on learning while you can only sleep with the one person now.” The groom laughed and took a second to thank his friend. He then glanced at his Best Man, who appeared to not have a gift with him. “Okay, you gotta follow me to the next room for my gift.” The groom did as he was asked, and immediately saw the final present. A giant cake stood in front of him, one big enough to hold a human being inside… And sure enough, mere seconds later, out popped a naked stripper with sparklers and a “Congratulations” banner draped over her body. She pressed a button on a remote and some music began to play. As the music played, the stripper began to count the beats, “1, 2, 3, 4” as she walked towards the groom. The Groom went wide-eyed and stared awkwardly at the stripper. His brother finally asked, “Do you… do you not like this? You know what this is, right?” The groom replied: “…it’s the thot that counts.”